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In
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura Schlessinger claims
that the women's movement has caused self-centeredness in women, and
that our culture "has elevated feelings over obligation, responsibility,
and commitment" (p. 4). She encourages wives to make changes in their
behavior, in spite of their feelings. These changes include making time
for their husbands, being sensitive to their husband's feelings,
avoiding manipulation, and showing respect. She also stresses the
importance of recognizing the differences between men and women.
All these suggestions are worthy, but I was disturbed by Dr.
Schlessinger's focus on women's roles in causing their marital
problems. She writes, "Far from being oppressed in their marriages,
most wives are the oppressors" (p. 75). I'm sure she has more callers
whose marriages are dysfunctional than not. Perhaps that explains her
negative slant.
Much of the book seems to have been "written" by Dr. Schlessinger's
audience, consisting of conversations with, or letters from, people who
listen to her radio program. She also requested contributions for the
book on her website.
Although it may be true that initiating changes in a marriage
relationship often falls to the wife, Dr. Schlessinger portrays married
women as complainers and their husbands as suffering, "simple" men.
This book contains some good advice, but it is often presented in a
condescending, sarcastic manner. Read with a grain of salt and a good
deal of discernment.
Reviewed by Marie DisBrow for The Road to Romance
March 1, 2003 |
